Drugs, relationships, drama queens, sex... we're ALL addicted, like it or not

[WES]

".... I don't care who you are... we're ALL addicted."-- The crazy blonde spiritualist from "What the Bleep Do We Know?"

I was cutting an apple, with an inappropriate knife, and, in all my awkwardness, one quarter of the apple slipped out (and I felt the blade almost slice my finger), and I picked it up and slammed it in the trash ... and I quickly exclaimed, "F-[expletive]!"

This got me thinking back to the scene in "What the Bleep...?", where the girl gets wine spilled on her dress, and then she starts to whine.... The subject was peptides and how we are addicted to these behaviors... and since "thoughts are things" we create these little things/incidents in order to appease our addiction to the whining or whatever feeling....

So, as I sat down here with my 3 quarters of apple, this got me thinking about all the "drama" posts that come up as I got online at PI....

Just like I am addicted to making awkward mistakes and having an opportunity to utter my expletive, and blame the knife, and feel anger... perhaps people are addicted to there little dramas also.

Perhaps people can look at their desire to "get their ex back", or whatever, and we can say, "Hey... it isn't my ex I want, it is the drama around all this, and I am addicted."

No matter what the lack is... perhaps we are addicted to the little game of lack too much, and so we get more of the same lack?

I mean... Do we really want our ex back, or are we addicted to the drama? Do we really want "this or that", or do we just enjoy complaining about our lack of it?

And here is a tough one, do people, on some level, want disasters to strike so they can be involved? For example, when Lady Di died, I was watching the news, and people (on the streets of America) who had never met her, nor cared about her before (or didn't even know who she was), were shown sobbing and being melodramatic.... Then they all went out and bought commemorative plates with her likeness on it.

Could it be we enjoy our lack on some level?

[Patra ~ Deliberate Sifter]

i'm in. and not second guessing that. i like Tori's take on things: it's one of my quirks. i do a lot of living online. works out very well, actually.

[Hooked on Sparkles]

Now that addiction hits the nail on the head -- addicted to PI -- and addicted to Facebook, and many things internet.

Now, it's time for me to get addicted to work. Ha!

[modesttreasure]

ROFL! Let me know when you figure out how to become addicted to work. Is it by using "motivation" or is that just a short-term effect?

[WES]

Actually, although you are kidding, this thread is relevant to work addiction. I hated working, I worked my ass off for a couple decades, having little time for anything else, because I was/am addicted to that cycle of living paycheck to paycheck.

In fact, I felt obligated, even after working 50 hour weeks, to pick up another 10 hour shift.... I just couldn't stop that struggle. I couldn't say, "NO... I am too tired... I haven't slept...."

[genevieve]

I am addicted to telling my 'tale" of past woes ...every time I get intimate with a new friend I can feel the 'story' coming on and then one day I tell it .. and it usually goes down real well. But I am beginning to understand what it is all about. The looking for sympathy, the loving the admiration that people give you and the affirmations that you are a great person for coming though all that ..is addictive and it is filling a 'gap' of needing love and approval.

But I am getting over it and listening to Abrahams sessions have really helped because have you noticed that now Ester wont allow people to 'tell the sad story", she just stops them and says 'dont take us there", and people are often so insistant because the believe that we must hear the sad story or horrid news to understand where they are coming from.

Sometimes we have to tell our 'trauma' to others just to catharsise it from ourselve and counselling is often good for this, but it can become part of who we are and we want to wear it like a badge. I know that my 'story' has changed and lost a lot of its impact for me and I no longer need to tell it for my own sake, I may tell it if I think it will help other people going through a similar story to over come it. But letting go of old baggage is a very worthwhile thing to do. And to truly live in the moment and just look forward is great. But while we have baggage, we tend to use it to do things over and over again in a pattern that really does not serve us well at all. Even patterns that we perceive to be good that we have benefited from, should be reviewed from time to time.


A rather mundane pattern that has worked for me for eons was that when driving, I turned around physically to 'see" what traffic was coming and to check my blind spot. I was an overly conscientious driver ...but then I never had an accident in some 30 years of driving. But recently, I learned to really trust and "use" my mirrors, wing mirrors especially and now I never turn around ...and of course this is making my driving even better.

[WES]

I'm getting better at driving people more crazy.

[VibingOM]

Yes, you are my dear, and we're so proud of you for it and expect nothing less from you. It is rather miraculous how you punch everyone's buttons - and in this discussion even your own!

I went to sleep last night as I'd said my piece and yet confusion reigned, this time from the male camp. Deliberate Sifter came in and added her usual layer of knowledge and honest sanity to it all. Then, on the opposite side of the globe from me, as I slept, my friend Daydream from Down Under came in and told you all how it is, which is why she's so amazing. Mary Ho lifted it all up with her undercurrent of Iowa humor. Then Gen dropped in from Ireland and grounded us all. I truly do love this discussion. You outdid yourself, Wes!

[WES]

Whatever.... You ladies can be all offended if you want. Daydreamer was just jumping on the "vilify the men" campaign....

Yes... I started it by getting Pat to say what he was smart enough to not say before....

I take complete responsibility.

That's enough.

[daydreambeliever]

Oy! I wasn't vilifying, I was agreeing - it's not gender bias or stereotyping if that's reflective of your experience.

Gees, talk about an irregular CONJUGATION (see paying attention to multi-tasking).

he stereotypes
you generalise
I vilify

Now I'd like my plate to mark this momentous occasion please.

[WES]

As long as you agree with me... you are right!.... lol.... ;-D

All I see is Pat saying he is sorry... and the rest is a blurr combined with an old guy/girl debate of "what is smarter, cats or dogs".

[VibingOM]

Wes, I obviously wasn't "vilifying the men" 4 panels up, just reviewing this discussion. You surely saw my compliments to you today about how this discussion has stimulated so much conversation on so many good topics.

But, since you keep bringing it up, last night, I did in all candor point out that you and another male poster had created a virtual list of classic negative stereotypes about women. It indeed was a match. That was not vilifying. That was me taking exception as a woman. You are not a victim here. There aren't any victims. This is a discussion forum.

What Daydream is agreeing about is that, yes, those apparently are your true experiences about the type of women you attract. So, ergo, you're judging the women you attract as being that way - and you get more of them. Daydream, relying on some definitions of stereotyping, is only saying that it's not stereotyping or gender bias if that's your true individual experience and that you came to all those conclusions all by yourself.

I know about her thinking on the dictionary definitions of stereotyping, so from that angle, I agree with her, too, if we can somehow limit your "list" to being only based on your own experiences.

But, as a feminist and an Aber, here comes my spiritual question. As you seek agreement with others today that it's OK to say what you did about women, you also seemed to miss the point about how you view the apparently caddy and catty women in your life.

You like to mince words, so what comes first in stereotyping, the chicken or the egg?

Where did you ORIGINALLY get those views of women, from limiting beliefs (men's gender bias and negative stereotyping of women) that you grew up with/other men -- or from you independently not seeing women as source sees them (your independent judgments of women that just happen to match the negative stereotypes)?

Your views of those women could have come from the latter, as Daydream gives you the benefit of the doubt on. But, they also could have come from the former. More probably, it's a bit of both.

Either way, from my feminist view, that conversation was sexist. I also take exception If I see a racist, homophobic or anti-Semitic conversation.

Spiritually, only you know whether you need to work on your limiting beliefs about women and/or your judging of women. By doing so, you can see the pure positive beings that women are and attract wonderful women into your romantic life.

Souls don't even have a gender, so there is no spiritual rationale for ideas that either gender is better than the other gender.

I think you're pretty wonderful, Wes, so enjoy the contrast as you normally do and just grow from this. Every one of us learns a lesson at least once a month that we'd rather pass on. It's no big deal. The big deal is that, I bet this is the only reason you haven't attracted the woman of your dreams. This discussion is a very, very small price to pay if that's what comes out of it for you - the woman you've always desired. Blessings and love to you. I admire you a lot!

b>stereotype

noun
the stereotype of the rancher standard/conventional image, received idea, cliché, hackneyed idea, formula.

verb
women in detective novels are often stereotyped as femmes fatales typecast, pigeonhole, conventionalize, categorize, label, tag.

[tori]

I'm addicted to metal detecting. It fuels my soul. I love to dig in the dirt , feel the earth in my hands and breathe fresh air while walking in nature.

I'm addicted to the internet, I proudly admit it...it's a GREAT research tool for old maps, and identifying old objects I pull outta the ground.

Isn't there something to be said about being authentic?

Anyway...I'm now trying to figure out what to do with the iron pieces I find...I upcycle, so want to do garden art with the stuff most people toss aside.

any suggestions? LOL