I'm in a rut. I'm not living the life I'm meant to - I know there's so much more... There has to be.
Where has my energy gone? Why am I depleted every day?
Why do I feel so alone? The people I am surrounded with are on a different course of life. I feel so disconnected, and I don't want to spend my time drinking and listening to punk music anymore. I feel like I'm growing old, and dull, and dry. Sad and jaded. I can't connect with the people around me, because I can't help but resent the choices they make. They are all happy, I know it's just not for me, but I don't know where to start.
I want to be loving and happy again. I want to be filled with energy and excitement again. I keep saying to myself that it's right around the corner. That the universe will surprise me with new momentum - new energy flow. New opportunities for fulfillment and excitement.
What do I do in the mean time? How do I love life again? How do I sparkle, when I've grown so dull?
I've tried reciting affirmations, every day... but I see them making no difference. They just don't fill this... void.
It feels hopeless, and to be honest I'm afraid. There has got to be so much more to life.
Hey Jelly Baby,
“Where has my energy gone? Why am I depleted every day?”
Energy is flowing to you all the time. If you feel it is gone, it is because you are resisting it, and now allowing your natural well-being to flow to you.
And when you feel depleted, it is because you are resisting being your true self.
“Why do I feel so alone?”
You will feel connected again when you focus on allowing your connection and alignment with Source and your Higher Self/Inner Being.
“That the universe will surprise me with new momentum - new energy flow.”
Yes, and you want to start that momentum by focusing on allowing yourself, to be yourself.
Begin focusing on doing what you enjoy, being easier with yourself, being nicer towards yourself and appreciate who you are.
Here is very simple practical advice that will move you FAST if you apply this daily.
Every day act as if you are not doing anything you are currently doing and just look towards what you want to be doing. Follow this guide and do not miss a day.
Every day find the BIGGEST step you can possibly do towards your goals, if that is owning a house, look into mortgage, sometimes it may be a small step bu every day make the biggest step you can. If you need to enroll in college. begin doing it, and one day your biggest step that day you can do will be to enroll. If you follow this you will grow so fast you won't believe it
There is no life that we are "meant" to live. We live the life that we identify with subconsciously. Reciting affirmations doesn't have much effect unless doing so impresses the subconscious enough to make a change in pattern that creates your life, the beliefs you hold about life. Affirmations and visualisations will only create a change if they evoke constructive images and feelings. When we begin to identify with a life that is different from what we have now life around us will change automatically. Decide what you want life to be living and begin to cultivate the thoughts and beliefs that support it and do it all the time. There's no "program and forget" with this level of change. Practice new habits of thinking and behaviour constantly and be sure to take time out to relax.
Relax doesn't mean just not doing the things you have to do for a short period. Relax means at a deeper mental and physical level. Contemplating things you find beautiful is useful for this. Relaxing like this can be done for a few minutes at a time through out the day. It doesn't need to be all done at once which helps if you have a busy life.
Thank you so much for the advice. I really will take it to heart. I've heard twice now, both through here and through someone else to allow the things that I want to do, and to say no to the things I don't. I'm going to take a risk and do exactly that. :)
Take a step back. Think of the things that made you happy the most in the past. Try to do that again. Think of your happiest moments in life. Relive that feeling and I'm sure that new opportunities will come to you.
Try to do a long walk, maybe in a park. Do this while appreciating all the things that you have right now. Be grateful of what you have. Be grateful that you are able to take a walk. Give a smile to every person you come across. You'll be more glad when they smile back at you.
There are more things to life. You just have to learn to appreciate the little things.
You guys all gave perfect advice. Thank you so much.
Everybody was right, too. After some reflection I realized that this depression/rut happened gradually after moving in with my boyfriend. I didn't realize that over time I was compromising so much of the routine that made me happy. I stopped waking up early to run, instead I would go to the gym late at night, so I could stay up even later with him after he got off work - then end up sleeping in until 2pm. I stopped hanging out with my friends, the people who made me so happy - the people I had so much chemistry with. Instead I hung out with his friends. Their activities, lifestyles, and ways of thinking aren't actually that much different; they're all genuine, good natured, and intelligent people, we just don't have the same energetic exchange.
But finally I made a choice. It was Sunday, my boyfriend's roommate's birthday party. He's also become a good friend of mine. Everyone was meeting for drinks and games at the local bar. Of course it was expected I would be there... but I didn't really want to go immediately after work. So, instead, I went for a run. After my run, I still didn't want to go. So I went for another run! ^_^ After that run, I reluctantly went to the bar... but upon walking in I saw a couple of my old friends! My spirit jumped in exuberance and I immediately wanted to hang out with them.
My boyfriend came up to me repeatedly, asking if I would come join the part... and that's when it happened. I was honest with myself and him. I said YES to what I really wanted to do, and NO to what I did not. I told him no. And I hung out with my friends instead. My energy, my happiness, my excitement and inspiration came FLOODING back to me instantly. It felt so wonderful.
The same thing happened tonight. I've been so diligent at the gym, with an impeccable diet. I've seen undeniably, yet fluctuating results and things haven't been changing as quickly as I'd like. Consequentially, my self image has been really poor lately, and I've been beating myself up way more than I should. I know it's resistance, but I had no idea how to shake it. Then I realized, STOP. EFFORTING. So I told myself, literally, "If my body wants to be fat and gain a whole bunch of weight - then so be it! I will love myself anyways. It's not worth the struggle. If this is what it really wants to do, then I'm going to let it, because nothing else is working." So, right afterwards I went and had fast food for the first time in months. I felt so exhilarated I actually cried of happiness. It was like telling my spirit that I had permission to be free. And I ended up going to the gym and working harder than I ever have. It was easy and fun.
I'm going to keep it up. As best I can. Thanks so much for helping me reconnect to what feels happy and joyful. I'm definitely feeling source again. ^_^