Okay, I am trying so hard to keep calm, and do the best I can for peace but in the past few weeks I have noticed a difference from my partner.
Such as the following:
When I say I love you, I look at him in the eye. He sometimes walks away and says I love you. Or he says it quickly without sounding meaningful and I write texts and when I put I love you, I don't get a text back saying I love you.
Everything is so f&%n weird and I just pray for something good to happen because I don't think I can cope.
He has said to me that he does want to make this relationship work but I don't see anything happening on his part???
It leaves me confused so so so so so much. When I want to clarify anything or ask him a question, he doesn't want to know.
Reading Thich Knat and he says Love is understanding. Well I want to understand.
Even recently we had sex, and I just felt I was just a 'vagina vessel', so he can get off and no care if I didn't???
I just feel he is on his selfish path again. Which is really sad and yet my heart goes numb and slightly breaks.
Actions speak louder than words. A few months ago he was attentive, he even looked at me, now he isn't looking at me much, just avoids eye contact and I remember him doing that for the past couple of years when we weren't officially together. To me that is shifty and shady. I sense something is up, and would like to know. But if I do ask, I wouldn't know how to ask without him saying Its not about you?
I want our relationship to truly work, however I see the past being recreated again. I am sitting by and observing, analysing wtf is truly going on and what is with the change????
I am doing the best I can to keep my head above water, being positive, meditating and writing in my gratitude journal. I am just not sure what I am doing wrong to have this happen again??? Been stepping back, not acting needy or clingy either.
Look forward to the responses to help me understand better,
Reading my old post and to respond back to you Eternity the Penguin. I am on the self love path. Every morning when I drive from home to work, I tell myself I love myself and this morning I did Emma's Self Love meditation and I tell myself I am worthy. Because I am Worth it :D
No to be harsh, but it sounds like this guy is just not that into you. Maybe you could focus on what you want instead of what is showing up. But, leave room for the possibility of him not being in that picture - someone else could be more right for you than him.