Any good Canadian jokes out there?

[burgerslinger]

I'll start us off if thats okay.

After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Molson sits down and says,

"Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Molson's?"

The Molson president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

ha ha thought this was a good one

[Kat McCarthy]

LOL thats a good one. :-)
Thanks Donna!!

[andrea]

here's one -

Q: How do you get a bunch of Canadians out of your swimming pool ?



A: Say "Please get out of my pool"

[burgerslinger]

Three men were traveling in Europe and happened to meet at a bar in London. One man was from England, one from France and one from Canada. They got acquainted and started talking about their problems with their wives.
The guy from England began by saying: "I told my wife in no uncertain terms that from now on she would have to do the cooking. Well the first day after I told her, I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But on the third day when I came home from work, the table was set, a wonderful dinner was prepared with wine and even dessert."
Then the man from France spoke up: "I sat my wife down and told her, that from now on she would have to do all the shopping, and
also do the cleaning. The first day I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But on the third day when I came home, the whole house was spotless, and in the pantry the shelves were filled with groceries.
The fellow from Canada was married to an enlightened woman from the prairies... He sat up straight on the bar stool, pushed out his chest and said: "I gave my wife a stern look and told her, that from now on she would have to do the cooking, shopping and housecleaning. Well the first day I saw nothing. The second day I still saw nothing. But on the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye ..."

[burgerslinger]

A True Canadian Hockey Fan

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.

"No," says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible", said the man.
"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs and not use it?"

The neighbor says "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head "No.

They're all at the funeral."

[Marvin Double]

Pretty darn funny.

[burgerslinger]

A Canucklehead goes into a Tim Horton's in Gander and notices there's a "Roll Up The Rim To Win" Contest going on. So, he rolls it up and starts screaming;
"I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!"
The girl at the counter says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a car".
But the person keeps on screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!"
Finally, the manager comes over and says, "I'm sorry, but
you're mistaken. You couldn't have possibly won a motor home because we didn't have that as a prize!"
The person says, "No, it's not a mistake. I've won a motor
home!" They hand the cup to the manager and he reads..........

"W I N A B A G E L"

[burgerslinger]

President George Bush called Chretien with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"

"George, the Canadian people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the Prime Minister.

"I do need your help," said Bush. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?"

"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!" said Chretien.

Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Bush. "Could the condoms be red, white & blue in color; at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?"

"No problem," replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Chretien hung up and called the President of Trojan. "I need a favor, you've got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to America."

"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.

"Great! Now listen, they have to be red, white & blue in color; at least 10" long and 4" in diameter."

"Easily done. Anything else?"

"Yeah," said the Prime Minister, "and print 'MADE IN CANADA; MEDIUM SIZE' on each one."