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I was wondering how to cope with situations where you feel you were not treated fairly.

For eg. when people with money and/or an influential family get where you are without the hard work or the struggle or the talent/skill.
Imagine being passionate about a particular sport and training thoroughly in it to find out someone who knows someone from the system will win the same medal as you even without the passion or hardwork.

I am looking for something other than the 'mind my own business' answer.

Have I created this unfair version of life?

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Well, we live in a very diverse and abundant universe, so your question like many will have a number of different answers.  Firstly, the thought that the universe is unfair is interesting.  For some people, this is very common though and its a shared thought (meaning its one of collective consciousness where several people have that belief).  However for most poeple, this is a flawed belief. The universe isn't judgmental or biased or condemning with its actions.

So lets take your examples (great ones by the way).  Now its important to recognise also first off that just because they have money and/or an influential family doesn't necessarily mean they are happy with their lives (despite appearances).  Now also the belief that "hard work" is necessary is also interesting and revealing.  Who says hard work is necessary for success?  Success can come without hard work and massive amounts of efforts.  So maybe its worth while looking at where your beliefs are working for you and against you here.  Even celebrities - aren't necessarily the most talented individuals skill or talent wise.  You know look at Madonna for example, not the greatest singer yet makes millions of money and is highly famous as a result.  

Now also using your sport example, to some degree that can be belief based too.  For example, atheletes often train mentally for winning and to some degree we all know that the belief that you can win can literally move mountains.  

The great news is that this "unfair" version of life is just a judgment that you can easily change too.  However you have to start looking for examples of where life is actually fair.

"Have I created this unfair version of life? "

I think yes and no. You have created this unfair VISION of life. If, like most LOA enthusiasts, you believe that you create your own reality, then it logically follows that focusing on concepts like fair and unfair will only create more examples of fair and unfair experiences in your reality. The more you focus on what is fair or unfair, the more those thoughts occupy your mind and ultimately shape your life. You can't use your thoughts to feel good and create an awesome life, if you're also consistently using your thoughts to say "life is unfair", "that person has more X than me", "why do they get all the luck?" etc.

In my opinion, fairness is a largely useless concept and it only serves to make a person miserable. True happiness, contentment, pride for our accomplishments, gratitude, feeling like a success - these all come from INSIDE of us, by how we choose to see ourselves, to think about the world, and choose to feel. Trying to use factors outside of us and our control to make us feel good is always a losing battle. Anything outside of us can be lost, destroyed, changed, or taken away. The only true thing that any of us have complete control over is our inner strengths: our attitude, our chosen feelings, our point of view, our self-esteem, our vibration. These are things that LOA asks us to focus on and harness, because transformation and real spiritual success is an inside job.

Life is a miracle and full of wonder and good things, but it's not ever going to be completely "fair." Life doesn't owe us fairness. We are not entitled to fair. Animals, plants and insects lose their homes, their limbs, their lives, their families, & their mates on a daily basis due to human activity, predators, natural disasters and other causes, but they don't sit around screaming about the unfairness of it all. Only humans seem to spend their precious time on earth lamenting about fairness, and it generally makes humans more miserable.

There may always be someone better, faster, smarter, richer, sexier or whatever than we are. But so what? Why should their existence diminish our own? Why focus on what we have no control over? Why allow thoughts about others and what they have compared to us to steal our power and joy away from us? Comparison and sour grapes will never make us happier, healthier or more effective in our lives.

From my point of view, the way to cope with situations where you feel others have unfair advantages is to stop caring about them in the first place. Make a life for yourself that you love so much and are so proud of that you don't care about how anyone else got theirs. Because at the end of the day, you'll be the one with the real understanding, growth, experience, wisdom, and satisfaction that can only come from working for what you want and achieving your goals. You'll be the one who can truly appreciate and savour your accomplishments and that will give your life more richness and meaning than you can currently imagine. And life is about meaning, isn't it?

Like Great Believer said, people that cheat or get ahead by power or money aren't actually happier or better off. When humans get something too easily they don't really value it. LOA can sometimes manifest quickly, but there is still the effort of focusing our thoughts and lifting our vibrations, and so we value our successes. Things have to have meaning to be truly valued, otherwise we simply take them for granted.

Your examples are hypothetical it seems, but in some cases it may be possible to expose unjust systems or expose hypocrisy and nepotism to other people, but each case would need to be carefully evaluated. If you can't actually do anything to change the imbalances, or if doing so wouldn't actually improve or benefit yourself or others, it is likely best to let ideas of fairness and unfairness go. Leave comparisons behind.

Focus on the inside, focus on what you actually can control, and appreciate the beauty of living for your own sense of joy & accomplishment alone and all depth and meaning that brings to your life.

And finally, I am able to reply to my post! The website was probably down. The good thing is I used that time to reflect on it.

First of all, thank you so much GreatBeliever and NickMoon Noire for your detailed responses. Those were some great insights.

My post may not have perfectly described what I am feeling. 

I would not enjoy my life more if I got to know that this person is miserable. Nor would I be jealous if this person was happy.

I kind of dont care.

This person and the parents were not liked by most people in our community because of their attitude. All I care about is staying away from them, like everyone else. 

I think I am far luckier in life. And I am not talking about material stuff but things that truly matter. 

When I mention the word 'unfair', I mean when someone just stands on the finish line or does not even step on the ground to run. Like someone with poor grades getting into the same reputed university as yours because their parents paid a heavy donation to the trustees. This is not the same as being too talented or gifted. 

I see what you are saying and a way to implement it in my life would be to choose my goals differently. May be I should focus on goals that cannot be bought by money or deceit. Personal excellence is one such goal. And I am sure there are many external goals that cannot be reached without this excellence. I just have to find them. I do prefer to have outside goals as they count in this world and bring a sense of achievement. Feeling abundant is good but having real money to spend is great. Having the knowledge and skillset is good but getting a degree in that is great. Loving your body is nice but actually having a healthy body is great. 

And like you said, focusing on good things and trusting the benevolent universe is the most important step.

I will have to ignore stuff that I dont like and turn my attention to what I want. This is exactly what went wrong and hence this situation. Thanks for pointing it out.

Appreciate your help :)

Lots of love!

 

No problem Infinity, you are very welcome.  Also its important to notice that whilst your original post may not have accurately described what you were feeling, what you were feeling can have changed too.  We tend to go up and down the emotional scale all the time, often without even realising.  Like I said before, some people are happy being unhappy.  So if this person enjoys being miserable, then more power to them being miserable.  You and I can choose something different!

Now if you didn't care, then this wouldn't be an issue or deal for you.  So to some degree its in your awareness for some reason and it may be good to check out the reasons why this is coming up for you.  Is it mirroring a past experience or a belief you have?  

When I mention the word 'unfair', I mean when someone just stands on the finish line or does not even step on the ground to run. Like someone with poor grades getting into the same reputed university as yours because their parents paid a heavy donation to the trustees. This is not the same as being too talented or gifted. 

So this may be true, but it may not be true too.  There may be a number of many reasons why this person is successful and they may not always be obvious or visible to you and everyone else and thats also key to remember here.  In the same way, someone judging you on your appearance and work presentation is getting a limited snapshot of Infinity, it isn't by any means the full powerful Infinity.  The same is true for this person too.  Now also appearances can and often are deceptive.  Some people portray a carefree and careless attitude yet behind closed doors they are studying away and it is literally their life.  So don't be fooled by appearances.  

Rather than focusing on goals.  I would instead suggest doing anything that helps you feel GOOD.  Thats really key as it will help you feel better no matter what this person says, does and in doing so, you will automatically shift vibrationally.  The thing with "goals" is that we often create goals based on our perception of other people's thoughts about us.  So for example, when I was growing up, I had the realisation that I didn't want to be a mechanic.  My brother was a mechanic, my father and my grandfather and his father etc.  So I was born into a family of mechanics and it was just automatically presumed I would study mechanics and motoring and qualify into that.  I recognised early on that cars and the mechanics didn't interest me.  Yet my father and brother consistently told me how crazy I was and encouraged me to learn about cars.  So thats just an obvious example of where sometimes our so called goals are not actually ours at all but belong to family or friends around us (who no doubt have good intentions behind them). 

Personal excellence sounds great if its one that you truly desire.  However there is nothing wrong with desiring money or power, or love or materialistic things.  The important thing is being honest with ourselves (which is interesting as its often the person we tell the most lies to).  Likewise, people often mistaken abundance for meaning money and wealth.  It does to some degree but it can also be a variety of other things like having friends who support you, or family who love you etc. 

In some ways, this person is a brilliant place for you to actual engage in gratitude that this person has shown up and is showing you how you desire not to live your life (that in itself is a huge value!).  So they are helping you get clear on what you desire for your life etc.

Its not necessarily about ignoring things that irritate or anger you.  Rather its about taking actions to feel good when they do show up so you are not at the effect of those things and have a choice rather than being in automatic reaction mode. 

Thanks GB for writing back :)

To answer your questions- yes it does affect me because exclusivity is a part of the goal. My hypothetical examples arent too far from my real life situation. How would you feel if you have committed to scientific innovation all your life and were rewarded a Nobel for your contribution that was to be shared with Mr.Trump. Just like this example,there is not much room for subjectivity in my situation. I am where I wanted to be but that person is almost there with me. I say almost because everyone knows that this other person has nothing to show for his skills/contribution so it is not the same exact thing. But you get what I am saying. I would not mind sharing the prize with someone with the same level of ( objective ) expertise and ( objective ) contribution. Now if we were to speculate, Mr.Trump could secretly be a science genius with his third eye opened and all but he has no scientific expertise/contribution to show to the public.

I am not mad that Mr.Trump has more money than me now. This person can be as successful as he wants, I couldnt care less. But if Nobel demands proven/obvious/objective expertise then you should not be able to buy it without that. This person might as well go ahead and buy anything they like, I dont care,but NoT My NOBEL!

All the other things I said are not imaginary or skewed, I know this person closely, directly and through a lot of other people. 

I really wish I could detail the exact situation but this is a social platform. I feel weird about sharing too many  details about myself or another person. I feel bad that you are trying to help me out and I am not making it easy for you with these hypothetical examples. 

I agree about doing what one loves. My goals are in the field of my choice. My parents and family have no connection to my field. They never asked me to do what I do but supported me in my decisions. I got an awesome family :) 

I do enjoy it but like I said before, I enjoy external goals as well. Training and winning a medal in the Olympics is at least a little more exciting than running around the block. Just like publishing your book is fun when you are passionate about writing. I know that not everyone cares for external goals. But I enjoy them just as much as I enjoy what I do.

You are right about the fact that this person makes me appreciate so many things I like about myself and my life. And also like you said, I feel more inspired to follow the right path when I see this contrast. 

And regardless of what I felt before, I know this annoying situation has inspired me to become better. Mr.Trump cannot afford to share all my Nobels :) And then there is the expertise and contribution that I care about the most. You can never buy that stuff. 

Thanks a lot for all your help and support :) You are awesome!

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