I have written so much about transitioning over the years. I have had this beautiful view of what it is and how un scary it is and natural and it was all so believable in my mind and in my heart. Like I know this is natural and beautiful and nothing to fear and yet now that it is happening i am reminded of how final death is. I am scared to death of the moment I realize he has gone. My best friend, my husband for 30 years, the father of our beautiful children. Its unbearable. I apologize for all the cheery inspiring BS i ever posted here lol.
No i dont mean that. I just feel so powerless and so afraid that i wont be the pillar of strength my kids need me to be. I am terrified of not finding the words. I need to get back to a place of feeling positive and accepting his transition guys. I am running on fear right now. I could really use a hug and some reassurance.
Most of all im afraid for Mike. That he will feel alone in his journey or unloved or any discomfort at all. I want to save him still from his pain. He deserves peace. Thank you everyone for being here for us.
Hello beauty! Thank you for your sweet kind loving words. I feel still so close to you! It’s so amazing having bonds with friends over the years who I have never met in person but trust implicitly, love unconditionally & am so grateful to have in my life!! I too am grateful for the nightly dreams where Mike is with me again, healthy, happy and so loving! It’s incredible. Thank you for writing, means SO MUCH! Love FP xxoo