The other day one of my fabulous healing clients asked me this question, as it's something she's wanting to let go of and wanted the clearest explanation of it so that she could understand it in the best way.
Here is the answer I gave her.
To quote a portion of the Litany Against Fear,
"Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration."
Physically, it is that portion of our senses that the ego uses to "keep us safe". The issue is that we haven't needed that as a regular presence in our lives for several hundred years. It was used as an early warning system that would throw us into fight or flight. It is a remnant; a leftover from our earliest days as humans. The base of all fear is the fear of losing our lives. We, as a whole, are not in the constant danger that our ancestors were. We are not dying, or being attacked every time we walk out of the house.
So, because we have evolved, and "society" have evolved, that level of fear is completely unnecessary, yet our ego still thinks it's needed and viable. So now, instead of fearing the animals or other tribes killing us, we fear our boss, or our parents and family, or someone who doesn't look like us, etc. etc. Things that are not, for the most part, going to kill us. If you're not dying then why go into fear? So, "dying" gets replaced by anything that appears to be a loss. How does losing your keys, or your job, or your relationship equate to dying? It doesn't but the ego thinks it does, and throws you into fear the moment any form of loss is detected, even when the supposed loss is not real and not happening.
The question that we all have when a situation comes up involving loss is always the same. "Who will I be if I "lose" whatever it is I'm afraid of losing?" The answer is always the same, but you have to allow yourself to acknowledge that it is indeed the answer. You are still the same person, just without whatever it is, if in fact you no longer have it.
So you lose the keys to the car. Are they actually lost? No, just misplaced in this moment. How are you actually losing anything, and why go into fear over it? Yes, you may be late getting to wherever you were going, but that is not going to cause your death, now is it? Of course not, so again, why go into fear over it? If someone gets upset that you were late due to misplacing your keys, that is their issue, not yours.
Remember, you get to choose how you feel in each moment. You decide to go into whatever emotion you're currently having. No one and nothing outside of you is making you feel anything. That is all on you. Decide you no longer want to feel fear, and stop yourself the moment it starts to come up. The more you do that for yourself, the less you'll go into the fear, and the better off your entire life will become. =)
Ross - Tolemac
So true Tolemac
Remember, the next level up from fear of dying, is fear of loss. So when the fear comes up, what are you losing? In the example you gave, FP, it would be fear of losing the experience and of not achieving what you want to achieve, thereby losing out on that experience as well.
Indeed, false evidence appearing real, and it is always that unless you decide to allow it to become real. It's always your choice. =)